One of the hardest things, in my experience in the business world, is dealing with when others who see you as competition, start to bad mouth your product or service, or even you personally.
What do you do?
1. Well, first of all, there’s nothing wrong with getting angry about it. That is natural and actually, anger is a good emotion if used well.
2. Secondly, I like to step back and ask myself if there is anything I can learn or use from the comments or criticisms that might help my business or me. Even the slightest bit of truth can be used to develop my product or service or myself. So, I step back and listen objectively. I try to disconnect my emotions from the words. Not always easy, but a good thing to try. If there is anything of value, I use it. If not, I move on.
3. Thirdly, how do I move on when the comments, conversations, and slights keep coming. Well, I talk to someone. But I choose who I talk to because we all need to discuss things with others. So, I find someone I can trust and talk about it.
Talking to a trusted friend, someone who will listen and provide some supportive and objective advice for consideration is very helpful. Thankfully I have a few people around me like this.
I don’t believe in talking to everyone when your upset or angry because I see that as spreading the negativity. This is one of the downsides of social media. It’s very easy to vent on social media and then it can’t be taken back and everyone knows about it. What you put on social media also reflects on you, even when you’re talking positively or negatively about others.
4. Fourthly, I remember that the best of us get talked about and criticised. I can’t remember who said it, but years ago I heard the saying that if you’re not being talked about, you’re not doing a good enough job to get noticed.
5. Fifthly, note that hostile behaviour is only based on fear. Fear has many faces, such as envy, jealousy, hatred, etc. These are based on the fear of
a. loss,
b. not achieving and
c. the misguided belief that there is not enough, so if you have, it means that I will not.
6. Sixthly, I am only responsible for myself, my behaviours, attitudes, speech, thoughts, and emotions. These I can work on controlling. I cannot control what others choose to do.
7. Seventhly, no one who is happy within himself behaves like this. We can tell what’s going on within a person by their behaviours, no matter how they dress it up to look. Clearly, they need some compassion.
We can let our anger and disappointment in how we’re being treated by others pull us into their fear trap. And if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves rushing to defend ourselves or retaliating against them. I’ve had to reconsider all of these points recently when a situation presented itself.
A member of our team made an error in a social media post. Someone was referred to as a Director of their company when the person is not a director nor ever claimed to be. Immediately as we were notified, and the post found it was corrected. Unfortunately, it was not before an individual who clearly has an ax to grind, saw the opportunity to bad mouth one of my projects to all and sundry.
This reminded me of a story in the Tao Te Ching where the sage Laozi had been accused of fathering a child with a young girl. His accusers came and the child was brought to him. Laozi did not say a word to defend, reject or accept the accusation. The child was given to him and he raised him for many years. Laozi lost many followers and friends who could not understand why he didn’t say anything, and by his silence assumed that he must have been guilty. Many years later the mother of the child told the truth, that the father of the child was a young man that her parents did not approve of. The family came back to the Buddha for the child. The Buddha handed over the child and again said nothing about the situation.
I’m not Laozi, the Buddha or Jesus, but I do believe it’s important to avoid spreading negativity. It can be like a contagious virus – catching. And the more negativity you focus on, the more you will see. Spreading the story doesn’t change the situation anyway. It only causes more strife.
Those who know you will know the truth and those who do not have a choice. They can either try to find out the truth directly from you or believe what they wish.
The truth itself will always come to light.
What do you do?
1. You continue to do what you do best. Do your job, run your business. Be the best that you can be. Do what you’re good at.
2. Focus on the good and the love that’s around you.
3. Don’t let others force you into acting out of fear.
4. And, like Laozi, trust the truth to defend itself.
Some great advice and very easy to follow